Tuesday, August 29, 2017

023-1 Intimacy Is: Broken Toys Broken Dreams ... Terry Kellogg author

For Clarity after last week's sharing ....

Intimacy is the result of a sharing and caring friendship built between people.  It is the feeling in a relationship that promotes closeness, ‘bondedness’ and ‘connectedness' without enmeshment. 
For someone who has spent their life struggling in enmeshed relationships intimacy is difficult to recognize. 
Intimacy is not the focusing on each other, or having sex or fighting with each other. Rather it is a growing - side by side - facing the same direction, facing the problems life has thrown in the way, sharing the world within and sharing the world without, and most importantly, it is the building of a history of experience, one on top of the other and allowing that sharing to cause or create an awareness - together.
The key word in the whole process is with. 
With a sponsor, with a friend, with my spouse, with someone who actually cares for me, not just for who they need me to be, but for who I am, and me returning that thought by caring for them just as they are, and not as I need them to be. Oh yes, there is instant sex, instant relation­ship, instant hot chocolate, but rarely instant intimacy. 

Intimacy comes when we are pointed in a healthy direction, when we have a clear identity of who we think we are and are happy with that thought, when we endeavor to live a life of balance, when we are open to trust, and when we are willing to experience our own pain and fears and ultimately when we know, love and accept self. 

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

23 On Appreciating Deeper Processes - On Intimacy

EXPERIENCE has taught us that intimacy is difficult because we expect it and want it right away. 
Most of us seek instant intimacy. 
Sex, the best/worst example of instant intimacy, is the instant gratification for intimacy-seeking souls.  It is thought to be the elixir of life, that magic potion that will mood-alter us into unimagined ports of call and happiness and well-being. 
Too bad it doesn’t work that way.
Sex, courtship, and infatuation all contain elements of feeling intimate, but they are not intimacy, and they are not magical.  They, in and of themselves, will not provide either happiness or a sense of well-being.  Some folks don’t know this, and some do, but refuse to want to believe that it might be true.

Too Much, Too Soon
Too Fast, Too Inflexible
Too Demanding
Can Damage The Possibilities Of Intimacy.


Experience Has Taught Us – 175 Missing Pieces –

An Explorer’s Guide to Developing a Handbook on Life

Available ... Amazon.ca as eBook